Let me be yours

32

On the cold stone floor, I sit

meditating upon your name.

The mountains are my home now

And the cold breeze, the only visitor.

Nothing but silence prevails around

And I am not time bound.

There I see the blue light

emerging from your head to mine

As I recite your thousand names in my heart

All I want to be is your part.

So let my soul merge into yours

And the rays of wisdom find a way into my mind

Help me out of this worldly life

And let me embrace your personality into mine

But what am I now?

Only a lost being in the world of unknown

I search only for peace

And I have come to you for solace

So heal my soul and accept my being

And end this term of agony and grief.

 

Library

There among thousands of books

She sat across the table with a somber look

Her eyes were filled with tears

I felt like going near

And holding that pretty face against my chest

And close her heart which was a gaping cleft

I wanted to whisper in her ears some words of cheer

So that she would smile and make her mind clear

Of all the hate and discouragement that resided in

So she could pick up those  pieces and throw them in the bin.

She wiped a tear from the corner of her right eye

And I so wished at that moment to be with her and never say goodbye

But I was such a moron

Never really told her to hold on

I always doubted my ability to love her completely

And I lost her because I behaved naively

There she was leaving the Library with a diary in her hands

Only If I could take her in my arms and adjust her flowy hair strands

I was not at all able watch her go

And then I acted in sync with my heart and went with the flow

I ran towards her and caught her arm

Her eyes danced with sadness but had the same old charm

And as I gathered all the courage to hold her hand

I wished her to understand

That my  love for her was pure

And I was so sure

That I would love her until someone shot the sun down

And at last, I saw her walking the aisle in a beautiful white gown.

 

 

 

She

She made her way to the sea front.Her hair flowing with the wind, her face so calm, unlike her mind.It was a pleasant day with a blue sky and cotton-like clouds hung above.

The smell of the sea with a waft of lily and the feel of the waves beneath her feet set her unrested mind to some peace.

The sea was her place. It understood her in a way nobody did. She found the sea enigmatic and it drew her. They had things in common after all. They both were paragons of emptiness dipped in songs of the past.

They loved having themselves as their company. Nobody would ever know how deep they were or what they hid beneath the trenches of their hearts.

They both wore faces of calmness and held themselves together.

They could be rough beyond imagination.

They had great powers within them. Powers that lay unused.

And one day, they would unleash their strengths and the world will stare in awe.

 

 

Bindu in Bombay

 

It was beautiful Sunday afternoon of May and the weather was pleasant and breezy with soft sunlight bathing the city in hues of yellow and golden. Dressed in my airy palazzos and a grey cotton top, I set out to visit one of the oldest book sales that takes place at Sundar bai Hall in Churchgate every year. Excited about the decent bargain I were going to make and also the time I was going to spend with myself sitting at the celebrated shore of Marine drive; I took a Churchgate bound local.

On reaching there I found myself in the kind of paradise every bibliophile would dream to be in. Surrounded by hundred thousands of books, the musty smell of old paper hanging in the air and lots of excited people walking the aisles of the hall. I took a lazy stroll around, waiting and reading the synopsis of books that intrigued me. I ended up picking 5 books and could not wait to start reading them one at a time.

I kept the stack of books binded together in a plastic film on the concrete promenade besides me and sat cross legged facing the sea and the magnificent skyline which was one of the most beautiful places in Bombay. I allowed myself a deep breath as I sat there comfortably staring at the sheer beauty and grace that this city beholds.

Lost in what I would nearly describe as meditation, I was approached by this lady and one look at her confirmed that she was not from India. With her shiny black hair falling just over her shoulders and beautiful brown eyes, she looked heavenly. I could stop but notice her perfect set of teeth and her brows delicately arched downwards. When she smiled at me I was reminded of my Geometry teacher in school and felt the same warmth as I would feel when I was with her.

I smiled back at her and greeted. She asked me about the place I bought my books from and I was more than happy to tell her about the book sale nearby to which she nodded thoughtfully. I could sense that she wanted to talk to me but was hesitating for some reason. After a minute of silence she asked me if I knew a publisher here. I told her I did not. Then she asked me a couple of questions regarding the people here and whether it was necessary as part of our culture to take something as a gift from someone who was visiting them from abroad. I laughed at that a bit because I myself would happily welcome a box of chocolates if nothing else.

The sun was about to take a dip and we sat there talking no further and sharing our silence. And as she was going to leave she told me excitedly in her firangi accent and rather good Hindi that she was wishing to publish a book in India and was finding it difficult to filter out genuine sources and that her book was on similar lines as The Secret but was unique in its own way. I found that really intriguing and I made mental note to buy it now that I had a conversation with her.

At the last of our chat she told me her name was Bindu Dadlani and was a life coach. I was impressed and it answered a lot of questions about the air of calmness that she had and the peace on her face. I still remember the feel of her soft fair hands in mine when we shook hands. I was smiling for sometime after she was gone feeling glad that I had met her because I simply felt so good. The first thing I did when I reached home was searched her page on the internet and there it was, full of articles on spirituality and finding the real purpose of our lives.

I read her blogs regularly and they have really helped me out of situations where I thought I had no one to go to. They have helped me grow spiritually and have a considerable contribution in making me the person I am today.

This is the beauty of Bombay. It beholds people from all walks of life, gives them fair chances to realize their dreams and all possibilities, real and imagined. I have met some beautiful people like Bindu who have given m a set of direction and helped me find answers to some of the big questions life has thrown at me.

Salaam Bombay!

Come, let us quench our souls with love

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The poet in me loved the mysteries in you

And as you let me into your world of dread and darkness

All I wanted was to hold you close to me

And let you breathe out

Every ounce of sadness that ever resided in your heart

And I wanted to be in a place with you

Which was far away from the right and the wrong of the worldly life

And I wanted to keep you there

So that we could follow a path of truth and life

Unshaded by this world of materiality

And I wanted to travel with you

Into the clouds and space

Far away into the universe

Where we could fill our hearts with divinity

And quench our souls with love.

One with the Universe

 

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One with the universe

I debate with myself

My own existence

I am in need and search of the purpose

The purpose of life for which I am born.

I want to be free

Free of attachments

Free of anger

And gain freedom from own myself

I want to be in a space

Where no right and wrong prevail

Where neither good nor bad exists.

Only and only

The light of our Souls shine

And liberate us from the ying-yang Life.

 

 

 

The dream last night

You know I had this dream last night,

Where it was you and me

I had never met you in reality

because you were just a dream

growing in my head and flourishing in my heart.

And I fell in love with you

Not the kind that they show in movies

But the kind that happens to you when you are 16 and stupid.

But it was all a dream

And reality played the game of blindfold with me.

You never existed

Just like the blue roses in the Kashmir Valley

That people thought about and wished they were for real.

The curtain of this expectation rose,

Not to the claps and cheers of my heart

But with the tearing and jeering of my soul instead.

And I lay there in my old torn crimson gown

Still waiting and hoping

For dawn to pour a bowl of sunshine on me

And I waited and waited a little more….

Lost directions

For now my dear,

I am lost in the sea of trepidation

And wriggling myself out of this whole spectrum of human emotions

Save me because I am drowning and struggling to keep up with expectations.

Let me breath O dear

Because I am human

I am a human wanting to free myself out of this air of ambiguity.

Take me to a place where right and wrong do not exist.

Take me there and keep me warm.

And then help me O dear to walk the path of salvation

And become one

with the supreme energy on which the world runs.